…and walk on the roads instead…

• They are more dangerous. You can see the state of the roads and potholes and all, there is nothing to it. But the pavements are haphazard, risky and you never know when you’ll fall into a hidden hole or trip on something uneven.

• Shops have taken over the pavements for their commercial use and you are morally encroaching upon them when you walk on the pavements. It’s also their personal parking space.

• Dog poop. Dog poop. Dog poop. Wonder why the Indian dogs prefer pavements over roads and trees. Also in some cases, it could be a case of human poop too.

• Most pavements are next to houses and you never know when cleaning water or garbage will fall upon you. That’s another thing: In many places pavements are permanent garbage bins.

• Walking on tar is kinder on your knees than walking on cement.

• During jams, bikers get onto pavements. They will honk furiously and almost knock you down. For some strange reason, you get more respect from them if you walk on roads.

• You are an Indian right? So how can you think of doing anything the right way?

© Sunil Rajguru

• Real Estate Agents Who Don’t Want New Land, But Simply Want Less At Much Higher Prices

• Moral Police Agitators Who Want Immoral Beaches to Just Sink and Vanish

• Freshwater Alarmists Who Will Be Delighted By So Much More Freshwater Formed By The Melting of Glaciers

• Life Forms in Cold Hostile Environments Yearning For a Change

• Fan and AC Companies Plagued With Continuously Shrinking Profits

• Camels And Scorpions Alarmed By Their Dwindling Habitat

• Ocean Travel Agents Who Wouldn’t Mind a Bit More Territory

© Sunil Rajguru

Bangalore Eclipse: The obscuration of the light of the sun by the intervention of clouds between the sun and Bangalore city. Happens for more than half of the days of the year. Sometimes overpowers solar eclipses too. More severe in Cherrapunji and Mawsynram.

Delhi Eclipse: The obscuration of the light of the sun by the intervention of pollutants between the sun and Delhi city. More in some areas and also depends on state policies like CNG regulation and crackdown of industrial areas. Present to some extent in other Indian cities too.

Mumbai Eclipse: The obscuration of the light of the sun by the intervention of skyscrapers between the sun and certain vertically challenged buildings in the city. Certain sections of certain buildings haven’t seen the sun for decades. Also called permanent partial eclipse. Also present in certain parts of East Delhi.

Ahmedabad Eclipse: The obscuration of the light of the sun by the intervention of kites between the sun and Ahmedabad city. For this reason, Ahmedabad celebrated eclipse on January 14 instead of 15. Catching on in other Indian cities too.

This Version By Sunil Rajguru

· At times…
…there is so much talk of Connectivity, that I feel Disconnected.
…there is so much talk of the Online World, that I feel totally Put Off.
…there is so much talk of the Unlimited potential of Cyberspace, that I feel Cramped.

· If the Earth stopped rotating and moving around the Sun and the Moon drifted off, then would the Days, Months and Years cease to exist? Would we become immortal in some quaint way?

· Isn’t there any software that makes Human Beings Interoperable?

· In 2570 BC, the Great Pyramid of Giza became the tallest man-made structure at 146 metres. Recently, Burj Khalifa claimed that record at 828m. Forget 828m, Bangalore (the place where I live) is yet to break the record set about 4500 years ago.

· You should use the Mobile phone when you are mobile. When you become stationary for long period of time: Switch the mobile off.

© Sunil Rajguru

All is Well: An Optimist’s Take on Life

All Is Not Email: How The Indian Post Re-Invented Itself

This Version By Sunil Rajguru

The Idiotic Trilogy

Three Point Someones: What not to do at Bollywood—Chetan Bhagat

The Idiot—Aamir Khan, Rajkumar Hirani and Vidhu Vinod Chopra

3 Idiots: The True Story—Chetan Bhagat

The Khan Series

Wanted A Hit No More—Salman Khan

Who is Shahrukh Khan?—Aamir Khan

Wait for My Name is Khan—Shahrukh Khan

My Name is Also Khan—Aamir Khan

Same Here—Salman Khan

What about me?—Imran Khan

There are More Than Three Khans in Bollywood—Arbaaz, Farah, Fardeen, Irrfan, Saif, Sajid and Soha Ali.

General Reading

The Story of My Experiments With the National Anthem—Ram Gopal Varma

De Dana Dan Flops have left me Blue—Akshay Kumar

Child is the Father of Man—Amitabh & Abhishek Bachchan

My Real Rashee is Cancer—Priyanka Chopra

Hit Hain Possible—Uday Chopra

The Airport—Shahrukh Khan (aka The Terminal)

Mumbai pe Bombay Kurbaan—Karan Johar

Solah Bigha Zameen—Amitabh Bachchan

The Art of Flying Kites—Hrithik Roshan & Barbara Mori

The Songs of India—AR Rahman

Prison Diary— Neil Nitin Mukesh

Coming Soon, The Idiotic Sequel Trilogy

The Misers—Chetan Bhagat

Much Ado About Nothing—Vidhu Vinod Chopra

The Merchants of Bollywood—Chetan Bhagat

This Version By Sunil Rajguru

The Kasab Saga
Punish him. Release him. Hang him. Extradite him to Pakistan. Let him write his autobiography. Make a Bollywood film on his life. Give him all the kebabs he wants. Whatever! Let’s get it over with and move on…

Andhra Pradesh Imbroglio
In 2009 YSR died in a plane crash. Then there was the Telangana crisis and the Tiwari tapes bang at the end of the year. I think the state deserves some nice peace and quiet this year. Needed is a firm hand from the Centre.

Swine Flu Alarm
Let’s just treat this like any other disease, please!

Commonwealth Games Drama
OK, here’s one that will come true! The Commonwealth Games are ending in October 2010. (Unless it goes to England at the last moment and we host it in 2014. Delhi will collapse under the controversy. Or maybe a new long-drawn controversy will begin after the Games end. Sigh!)

BJP Infighting
Vajpayee went. Advani is gone. Rajnath is gone. OK, can we begin a new chapter and have a sane two-party system in the country again? Let’s see how the Nitin Gadkari-Sushma Swaraj duo fare vis-a-vis their own partymen in 2010.

Obama Hype
He’s a great talker with great ideas. But I don’t want to hear another speech. I’d like to see the world changing because of him. The Hype has ended. People want Action. (I personally think India is worse off and more at danger thanks to the Af-Pak strategy)

Pak-US buddy-buddy statements
Pakistan is our best friend in the fight against terrorism and we are paying them x-billion dollars. Yawn!

The R word
Hope Recession well and truly ends by the end of 2010 and we generally have some good economic news.

Over the top TV News
I think this is too much to ask for. It will probably get worse in 2010.

Sarkozy-Carla-Berlusconi
Isn’t Nicolas Sarkozy the President of France and Carla Bruni the First Lady? Isn’t Silvio Berlusconi the Prime Minister of Italy? They’re political leaders right? Then why do I keep reading more of their personal lives? And why is the Indian media bothered anyway?

© Sunil Rajguru