Mere paas gadi hai, bangla hai, bank balance hai… tumhare paas kya hai?
Mere paas Facebook account hai.

Followed by…

Bhai tum login karoge ya nahi?
Haan, main login karoonga, lekin main akela login nahi karoonga… main sabse pehle login nahi karoonga…. jao pehle us aadmi se login karao, jisne mere baap ko Facebook addict banaya tha; pehle us aadmi se login karao jisne meri maa ko Orkut par anshan comments likhe the aur har ek social networking site se nikal diya tha; pehle us aadmi ka login karao jisne mere haath pe ye ye (“Mera baap Facebook addict hai”) likh diya tha. Uske baad… uske baad, mere bhai, tu jitne baar Facebook pe login karne ko bolega, main karunga…

(This Version: Sunil Rajguru)

• How does a thing become eco-friendly if you paint it green? Don’t green paint and green ink also degrade the environment? Plus the sky is blue, snow is white, the oceans are blue, the sand is yellow…
The logo for Nature should be a rainbow, not green, which has lost all meaning anyway.

• In India a baby is born every second and a Breaking News item born every two seconds.

• Offline doesn’t mean Deadline.
24/7 online usually means that you are dead from the real world.

• Virtual Unreality: What the computer world actually is…
(Virtual is the opposite of real. Unreal is also the opposite of real… Two double negatives = ?)

• Old dilemma: Does he chuck or not?
New dilemma: Should he be called a chucker or not?

© Sunil Rajguru

(Please sing to the tune of Pyaasa’s Sar Jo Tera Chakraaye, made immortal by the sublime Johnny Walker)

Sar jo tera chakraye,
Ya dil dooba jaaye,
Aaja pyaare paas hamare,
Kaahe ghabraye,
Kaahe ghabraye.

Site mera hai masti,
Duniya ka No. 3 basti,
Jis ke dil main jadu phira doon,
Hardam timewaste ho uski.

Lakh comments ka ek tareeka hai,
Kyu na aazmaye, kaahe ghabraye.

This Spoof By Sunil Rajguru

(Original Song: Sar Jo Tera Chakraaye
Film: Pyaasa
Year: 1957)

Why don’t you add XYZ…

XYZ is a person you may know…

You and XYZ have 35 mutual friends, you’ve got to add…

People You May Know –> Add XYZ as a friend

People You May Know –> Add XYZ as a friend

People You May Know –> Add XYZ as a friend

…

OK, you finally succumb to the temptation.

Result…

Do You really want to add XYZ as a friend?

(After all the soliciting, the doubt?)

XYZ will have to confirm that you are friends.

(Yes I know you Facebook application blockhead, just send the request)

Please enter the two barely legible words in the box, you may be a bloody spammer for all I know.

(Sigh is it worth adding friends anymore?)

Sorry, the person has too many users.

(Arrggghhh!!! Thanks for the suggestion anyway, I think)

Logout. Login again, to be greeted by the very same message:

Why don’t you add XYZ…

XYZ is a person you……

Deja Vu anyone?

© Sunil Rajguru

2009: Satyam Scandal breaks out

2010: Raju denies he ever pleaded guilty

2014: Govt denies scandal ever took place

2020: Raju officially declared “Father of IT”

2030: Detractors say Raju never existed

2040: Records show Satyam never existed

Post Script: Satyam is the Sanskrit word for Truth

(This version: Sunil Rajguru)

• With the absence of the TV and computer, you are forced to adopt the reading habit. This and delayed flights may be factors leading to the increased sales of English writing books in India off late.

• Makes you more social: You are forced to interact with your neighbours on a more regular basis…

• While the world hosts Earth Hour annually, we Indians celebrate it about a 1000 times a year. Some places celebrate Earth Day and Earth Week. Some villages even celebrate Earth Decade.

• A welcome check on kids who watch non-stop TV or play computer games without a break.

• India consumes less power and is hence eco-friendlier than other countries.

• Savings on your power bill.

© Sunil Rajguru

Do only bad boys become world champions?
Is aggression the only thing that matters?
Sify.com, 30 June, 2010

Team India & a pretty long jinx
The jinx that lasted 15 years…
Sify.com, 23 June, 2010

Asia Cup: Acid test for India
The first step for the 2011 WC campaign
Sify.com, 16 June, 2010

Remove the problem, not the person
The BCCI has the same solution to everything
Sify.com, 9 June, 2010

Is the BCCI accountable to anything or anyone?
The latest is the decison not to take part in the Asian Games
Sify.com, 1 June, 2010

Youngistan for Zimbabwe & Bangladesh is good
The BCCI has got something right
Sify.com, 27 May, 2010

Unfit India not favourites for 2011 World Cup
That’s one fallout of the T20 Windies fiasco
Sify.com, 19 May, 2010

More than 100 years in the making…
England finally wins a world cup
Sify.com, 17 May, 2010

Are we simply a bad T20 team?
Post-2007, our performance has dipped
Sify.com, 12 May, 2010

Will T20 kill the ODI star?
Twenty20s are the future…
Sify.com, 5 May, 2010

Six things I still like about the IPL…
There’s still nothing wrong with IPL fundamentals
Sify.com, 29 April, 2010

The A to Z of IPL Controversies
A lowdown on three seasons of IPL…
Sify.com, 23 April, 2010

Kerry Modi & Lalit Packer
Some IPL snippets…
Sify.com, 20 April, 2010

Controversies & a 50-50 chance
Some IPL snippets…
Sify.com, 15 April, 2010

India sending B-team to World Cup
Some IPL snippets…
Sify.com, 12 April, 2010

Cheerleaders 1, Moral Police 0
Some IPL snippets…
Sify.com, 5 April, 2010

The funniest tweets
Some IPL snippets…
Sify.com, 1 April, 2010

Chennai’s loss could be India’s gain
Some IPL snippets…
Sify.com, 29 March, 2010

Sachin & the big World Cup prize
Some IPL snippets…
Sify.com, 25 March, 2010

Ready for Sreesanth as captain?
Some IPL snippets…
Sify.com, 22 March, 2010

If Sunil Gavaskar had played T20!
Some IPL snippets…
Sify.com, 18 March, 2010

Lalit Modi needs a Twitter lesson
Some IPL snippets…
Sify.com, 15 March, 2010

Who will nail the Pakistan Cricket Board?
On the latest cricket controversy…
Sify.com, 11 March, 2010

The curious case of the IPL Icons
When being an icon doesn’t mean that much…
Sify.com, 10 March, 2010

Is Sachin really the greatest batsman of all time?
A contrarian view…
Sify.com, 2 March, 2010

Harbhajan Singh, the media & a million idiots
How the media loves going overboard on issue of cricket…
Sify.com, 24 February, 2010

Australia vs the rest: Curse of the Challenger
How it’s tough to hold on to the ICC Test Cricket No. 1 spot after you have captured it…
Sify.com, 10 February 2010