• With the absence of the TV and computer, you are forced to adopt the reading habit. This and delayed flights may be factors leading to the increased sales of English writing books in India off late.

• Makes you more social: You are forced to interact with your neighbours on a more regular basis…

• While the world hosts Earth Hour annually, we Indians celebrate it about a 1000 times a year. Some places celebrate Earth Day and Earth Week. Some villages even celebrate Earth Decade.

• A welcome check on kids who watch non-stop TV or play computer games without a break.

• India consumes less power and is hence eco-friendlier than other countries.

• Savings on your power bill.

© Sunil Rajguru

It’s a very Moony system, you know
Did you know that both Saturn and Jupiter have more than 60 moons each? More are being discovered all the time. In addition, Saturn has 150 moonlets. Uranus has 27 moons and Neptune more than a dozen (the number Saturn/Jupiter was once supposed to have).
(What has poor ole Earth done to deserve just a solitary moon?)

A billion planets out there and we’re stuck on this one
So far 450+ extrasolar planets have been discovered (outside our solar system). Scientists estimate that there are more than a billion planets in our galaxy alone!
(With so many possible planets, a big Boo! to all those experts who claim that there is no chance of life elsewhere.)

Our sun may have a Nemesis…
The Nemesis Star Hypothesis states that a smaller star/sun (brown/red dwarf) may be circling the sun, making our solar system a binary star system!
(Two Suns, Two Lives, Two Loves, Two Chances, Two Gods…)

From 9th to almost Lakhon main ek
While everyone knows that Pluto has been downgraded, did you know that it is now merely a Kuiper Belt Object (KBO)? One estimate says that there are 70,000 KBOs of more than 100kms diameter! Plus Pluto is not even independent, but part of a binary system with Charon. And its new name is 134340 Pluto.
(Whatever made Pluto think that it could be a planet? It sure fooled us for 75 years!)

A humongous cloud where comets are born
Have you heard of the Oort Cloud? It’s far beyond the Kuiper Belt. That’s where comets are born. Large objects are pushed from this place to become comets with a tail as they come near the sun. How many objects are there which are larger than 1km? Trillions!
90377 Sedna, a potential Dwarf Planet may live here.
(Mujhe nahin maloom tha ki Hailey’s Comet ke itne saare bhai hai.)

Parting Shot: So the true picture of our solar system is four inner planets, followed by the Asteroid Belt with thousands of objects, followed by four outer planets with hundreds of moons and moonlets, followed by the Kuiper Belt with tens of thousands of objects, followed by the Oort Cloud with trillions of objects, followed by maybe another sun.
We are also surrounded by trillions of stars in the universe with billions of planets and millions of Black Holes.
Phew!

© Sunil Rajguru

• An organizing official comes at the centre of a busy traffic intersection and says, “Great. This is the perfect place to hold the function and set up a pandal.”

• A political party secretary receives a criminal charged with murder, kidnapping and looting and says, “Finally, a serious candidate for the elections.”

• The power company official comes out and smells wet soil and says, “Ah! The smell of incoming rain! It’s time to shut power for this area!”

• An employee who comes exactly on time, leaves exactly on time and spends the weekends with his family is frowned upon: We “unofficially” want slaves who will be camped in office all day and at our beck and call on weekends!

• The Prime Minister is about to hire a minister when he is told that he is computer literate, internet savvy and active on sites like Twitter. “Change of decision, we don’t want troublemakers!”

• A politician is ostracized by his community for not being corrupt: He doesn’t fit into the scheme of things and will throw a spanner in the perfectly functioning works.

• All the movies released are full of songs and focus on romance in some form or the other and yet all of them claim to be different.

• Thinking out of the box will make you out of sync with the people around you and eventually you will be out of the general scheme of things.

© Sunil Rajguru

It’s a Mad Ad World
How many ads can a cricket match take? I think this theory has been stretched to the max by IPL. It’s the height of irritation and I am surprised that most of the people are taking it lying down. (But then again, what can we do anyway?) All that is left is for an ad to be shown between a bowler releasing the ball and the batsman hitting it. Then there are those corny sponsored phrases like Citi Moment of Success…

Why is it soooo Loooooong?
In the 1996 ODI WC, there were 12 teams and every team had to play each other. On top of that there were quarter finals. That seemed way to long. In IPL, why does every team play each other twice? (OK, OK, I know: Home and way matches, but still…) But I wonder what will happen next year with nearly a 100 matches. IPL will go on for about 2.5 months. Where will they get the time in the ICC calendar? And will viewer interest continue till the end?

A case of Megalomodimania
Let’s get a few things clear. The English invented T20. The 2007 WC win popularized it in India. The ICL brought T20 club cricket in India. Then the BCCI’s resolve brought about IPL. Lalit Modi has great business acumen, but he happened to be at the right place at the right time. But it looks like Modi invented T20. He’s everywhere on TV and has an opinion on every little thing and looks like a control freak. And why are you telling us so much about the Kochi team on your Twitter account? Didn’t you check properly when you accepted the bid?

Over-the-top commentators
Listening to the commentators, one could be forgiven for thinking that the IPL is actually a World Cup that happens every 20 years. I’ve never seen them so enthusiastic and gush so much at each and every shot. Does the IPL pay far more that other tournaments? Money not only talks, but shouts.

Exorbitant Ticket Prices
Why are the ticket prices so high? Who buys them? And if they are sold out most of the time, then why do we still see empty stands?

© Sunil Rajguru

We all know that all our politicians are worth hundreds of crores.
Yet when they flaunt a few crores, we get rattled.

We all know that all our politicians are corrupt, which is a crime, hence they are all criminals.
But only the chargesheeted ones upset us.

We all frown on nepotism in every walk of life.
Yet one family has been ruling this country for more than half of its Independent existence and we know and accept that another sonrise is due.

If we meet 90% of our work targets, then we feel really bad.
But if politicians even meet 10% of their targets, we get very happy.

© Sunil Rajguru

…if you are the head the most populous state of a fast growing developing country…

1. Convert national monument into heritage corridor = Rs 175 crores.
2. Build dozens of statues of self all over state = Rs 2000 crores.
3. Annual maintenance of parks to house these statues:
Rs 80 crores per annum X 5 years of power = Rs 400 crores.
4. Price of re-arranging traffic road infrastructure since some of these parks have resulted in the blocking of prominent roundabouts = Rs 370 crores.
5. Price of post retirement bungalow with government funds = Rs 50 crores.
6. Spend Rs 200 crores on a single rally.
Price of ten such rallies including this one = Rs 2000 crores.
7. Total so far: Rs 4995 crores.
Oops! 5 crores left!
What to do?
Just turn them into 1000 Rupee notes and convert them into a garland! Super idea!
All’s well that ends well!

Post Script: Tragedy just occurred, need ex-gratia payments.
Directive: Out of money. Petition Centre.

© Sunil Rajguru

…and walk on the roads instead…

• They are more dangerous. You can see the state of the roads and potholes and all, there is nothing to it. But the pavements are haphazard, risky and you never know when you’ll fall into a hidden hole or trip on something uneven.

• Shops have taken over the pavements for their commercial use and you are morally encroaching upon them when you walk on the pavements. It’s also their personal parking space.

• Dog poop. Dog poop. Dog poop. Wonder why the Indian dogs prefer pavements over roads and trees. Also in some cases, it could be a case of human poop too.

• Most pavements are next to houses and you never know when cleaning water or garbage will fall upon you. That’s another thing: In many places pavements are permanent garbage bins.

• Walking on tar is kinder on your knees than walking on cement.

• During jams, bikers get onto pavements. They will honk furiously and almost knock you down. For some strange reason, you get more respect from them if you walk on roads.

• You are an Indian right? So how can you think of doing anything the right way?

© Sunil Rajguru