Shirish: Some Tees Maar Khan!

SRK: Chak De! Ek chaanta doonga rakh ke!

Shirish: Joker ban ke raha gaya hu...

Farah: Don’t worry, Main Hoo Na!

Gauri: Om Shanti Om.

Anna: Phakta Ek? Don-Teen lawayche hote na?

(Or even One 2 Ka 4!)

∙ Right now Shirish Kunder is thinking…
Agar main ek FIR file kar du, to it will become…
Ek mulk ki police SRK ka intezar kar rahi hai…
SRK ko pakadna mumkin hi nahi, aasan hoga…

© Sunil Rajguru

∙ Katrina Kaif is starring in the Indian version of Mission: Impossible.
Her Mission? To Act!

∙ Emraan Hashmi should just change his name to Emraan Kissme.
(And is his theme song… Don’t talk just kiss… ?)

∙ If Vidya means education, then does Vidya Balan now mean sex education?

© Sunil Rajguru

Bill Hain Ki Maanta Nahin… On the inability of the bill to be passed.

Bill To Paagal Hain… Sentiments of Laloo and Co.

Bill Toh Kaccha Hai Ji… The BJP’s reaction.

Bill Diya Dard Liya… The Congress lament.

Bill Bole Hadippa!… What optimists thought would happen…

Bill Kabaddi… What actually happened in the Rajya Sabha.

Hum Bill De Chuke Sanam… Congress washing its hands off saying they introduced it.

Rehnaa Hai Tere Bill Main… CBI Group C&D and the Lokpal.

Hamara Bill Aapke Paas Hai… Team Anna to the UPA.

Bill Ka Rishta… Close to Anna Hazare’s heart.

Bill-E-Nadaan… Said the Opposition

Bill Se Mile Bill… Fate of all bills nowadays, including FDI in retail.

Bill Pe Mat Le Yaar!!!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

What Lies Beneath the news? There will no point in Switching Channels as all of them will show the same ole Fight Club and The Social Network will be abuzz again with activity. The common man, meanwhile, is increasingly bent on showing his Fist of Fury.

But still, The Tihar Redemption looks unlikely and the UPA won’t rely on Transformers or go in for a new Avatar. It’s all badly Tangled:  The UPA could well sink like the Titanic The Day After Tomorrow in 2012. So all in all it does appear a Mission: Impossible.

India is all about Eat Pray Love? Come December and it could well only be Fast Swear Hate.

Bonus…

More Hollywood ways of looking at the April-August-December (if it takes place) fasts…

The Anna Identity. The Anna Supremacy. The Anna Ultimatum. (Bourne)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Dabangg (2010)
Thappad se dar nahin lagta hain sahab… actually thappad se hi dar lagta hain sahab!

Post script…
Tired of incidents of shoe and slipper throwing, someone decided, “Apna haath, Jagannath.”

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Lord of the Cups: The Return of the King, MS Dhoni

Lord of the Spins: The Two Towers, Pragyan Ojha and R Ashwin

Bbuddah… Hoga Tera Baap, Rahul Dravid

Mission Impossible 100, Sachin Tendulkar

Players of the Caribbean: At Wit’s End, the West Indies team

One Wedding and Four Batting Funerals, R Ashwin

Vidarbha Express, Umesh Yadav

The Exile, Harbhajan Singh

These Versions by Sunil Rajguru

When the kadki has come,
When the kadki has come,
Then the money coffers are dark,
And the moolah is the only light,
And the moolah is the only light,
We will see… Darling money, darling money…

Darling money, darling money… Stand by me…
Won’t you stand… stand by me…

(Original Song: Dildaara (Stand By Me)
Film: Ra.One.
Year: 2011)

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru

∙ I think if any of the Three Khans even made a boring documentary, but released it with great hype, then it would make Rs 150 crores in five days before most of the public actually realized what it was all about.

∙ Amitabh Bachchan went all out and sold his brand in the 1990s and resultantly went from Hero to Zero. Only KBC revived him.
SRK is doing the same thing by selling his brand to the hilt…
Some Ra.One wordplay…
Number 1… No 1… No.1… No.One… NoOne… no one…

∙ (Spoiler alert)
SRK has outdone himself cinematically.
In about ten odd movies he has died.
In this one, he dies twice!
In about 5-6 movies, he has played a double role.
Here it’s technically a triple role, (if you count the regenerated G.One at the end!)
Ra.One = Deaths.Two = Roles.Three

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Every movie is unreal and basically a lie trying to sell itself to every member of the audience.

It all boils down to Suspension of disbelief (SOD).

When this phrase was first used for books, the onus was on the reader and not the writer to achieve SODhood.

That’s the same thing with movies.

The viewer can either choose to happily believe what he sees (=SOD) or go on with his utter disbelief  (=absence of SOD).

If a viewer achieves SODhood, then he even delights in the little things.

If he doesn’t achieve SODhood, then even a brilliant piece of cinematic work will look ridiculous.

That’s why a movie that is considered “greatest ever” by a critic is considered utter trash by millions of viewers.

And vice versa!

Even the worst of movies will end up finding a small fan following.

Even the best of movies will find some fierce critics.

There are many important ingredients of movie making.

But the most important ingredient of movie watching is simply SOD!

SOD is in your head and no-one really knows when, why and how the SOD factor will kick in—or not!

But it’s the difference between a SODingly good movie and one which makes absolutely no SODing sense.

So basically if you enjoy a movie, just enjoy it and tell the whole world to SOD off!

© Sunil Rajguru