Overheard…
VVS to SRT/Dravid: Bas Sri Lanka tour nikaal lo bhai logon… next foreign pitch tour is at the very end of 2013. We can easily play till then!
Yuvi-Raina-Rohit: Looks like we will be the “Allegedly Next Big 3” to retire from Tests and not them!
Sehwag: And I actually thought I could bat up the order!
BCCI: The only constant is (we will not) change.

∙ History first repeats itself as a tragedy (England tour) and then as a farce (Australia tour).

∙ Happy Republic Day!
However, no Independence Day from the farce of Indian batting on foreign pitches.

∙ Theme song of the Indian batting is Hum Saath Saath Hai…
They hit form together and collapse together.

© Sunil Rajguru

∙ Nowadays there are a lot of quota-ble quotes in the election speeches.

∙ In politics first there were wheels within wheels.
Nowadays there are quotas within quotas.

Overheard…
Q: What’s the first thing you’ll do if you come to power in UP?
A: Make sure that the covers never come off Maya’s statues!

∙ PM: Actually I’m more worried about malnutrition in FDI.

© Sunil Rajguru

Wife: Swami!
PC: Woh naam mat lo mere saamne!

Party worker: Ki chhora Ganga kinare waala…
Maya: Mat gaana ga woh! Chhora haath dho kar hi peeche pad gaya hai UP ke!

Worker: Can sir…
Rahul: Cancer? Stop talking nonsense!

Sometime after the World Cup final…
Madam: Sachin is a real bharat ratna!
PC (To himself): Hmmm, now we’ll have to change the rules!

© Sunil Rajguru

Sibal: Cyberspace main aag lagi hai!
(Bhai sahab ne ek baalti uthai aur uske andar ka samagri ko aag main daal diya…)
Advisor: Sahab, woh baalti main paani nahin tel tha!
Sibal: Oops! I did it again!
Arthath: UPA ka fire-fighting phir tel lene gaya!

Advisor on December 5: Sir, there are about 7.2 million status messages, Tweets and pictures against the Congress!
Advisor on December 7: Sir, there are about 2.4 million status messages, Tweets and pictures against the Congress!
Sibal: So my press conference was a grand success!
Advisor: Errr…. Now there are 934.3 million status messages, Tweets and pictures against you sir!

© Sunil Rajguru

Beta Kapil, I for Internet bolo!

Beta: E for Emergency!

Galat! Ab beta, C for Cyberspace bolo!

Beta: C for Censorship!

Phir galat! Ab F for Facebook bolo!

Beta: F***

Aise bhasha nahin bolte, bete!

Bolna hi hai to F for Frustration bolo, jo saaf dikhai de raha hai!

© Sunil Rajguru

First Pak official: There’s a mistake here… it says “Unclear Safeguard Plan”. Shouldn’t it be “Nuclear Safeguard Plan”?
Second Official: Both spellings are correct.

Indian Official: I cannot give a positive spin on oil prices any more.
PM: Please explain to them that in exactly the same way that I am in charge of the government and not the Congress President; the oil companies are in charge of the oil prices and not the government!

First Official: Anna Hazare, nuclear plants, Chidambaram, 2G… we need something to take the heat away from these issues…
Second Official: FDI in retail?

© Sunil Rajguru

SR: Vijaysahab, main Sahara dene ke liye tayar hu, Maal leke jaana!

VM: Jai Sahara!

SR: Lucknow aa rahe ho, par JetLite se katai nahin aana.

VM: Main Red main aa raha hu!

SR (apne aap se): Dhakkan!

VM: To Kingfisher bach gaya!

SR: Arre main to Racing waala Formula ki baat kar raha tha, Flying ka nahin!

VM: Kya??? Sab Maya hai… Ab main is udan khatola sena ka kya karunga…

(News Source: But we already flashed that Sahara is bailing them out…
Reply: Move on yaar, who really cares anyway!)

This version by Sunil Rajguru