Where the cartoonist is without fear and the satirist’s head is held high;
Where the Internet is free;
Where the protestor’s will has not been broken up
into fragments by narrow domestic politics;
Where online and print words come out from the depth of truth;
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection and not persecution;
Where the clear stream of reason
has not lost its way into the dreary desert sand of dead politicians;
Where every mind is led forward into ever-widening thought and action—
Into that heaven of freedom, let my country awake…

Whenever scams decline,
and progress and development seems to increase,
I incarnate myself as ScamAvatar—
I come in the form of a scandal from age to age.

Jeep scam… LIC scandal… Bofors… CWG… 2G… they just seem to come consistently bigger in every avatar!

This version by Sunil Rajguru

Corruption, scams and scandals have been around in India for what seems like forever.

Please sing to the tune of Billy Joel’s We didn’t start the fire…

Haridas Mundhra & LIC, Pratap Singh Kairon & SC,
Jeep scam, Cycle import scandal, BHU funds misappropriation,
Teja loan and Kaling Tubes, Nagarwala scandal’s on,
Maruti & Kuo Oil, AR Antulay and cement what ho!

Bofors mega scam, St Kitts’s forgery and Airbus,
Palmolein Oil Import Scam in Kerala hai hai!

Harshad Mehta’s here now, the stock market’s got a new king,
Sugar import, preferential allotment, Meghalaya forest bye bye.

We didn’t start the scamfire,
It was always burning,
Since the world’s been turning,
We didn’t start the scamfire,
No we didn’t light it,
And we didn’t fight it…

Purulia arms drop, Fertilizer import uff oh!
CR Bhansali and Sukh Ram, Laloo’s fodder’s the big bloc.

SNC lavalin power project scam and Hawala’s on,
UTI almost falls, Cricket match-fixing around the clock.

Ketan Parekh, Barak Missile, and Kargil coffin scam,
Bihar land trouble and even a Cobbler scandal, India is a scamland,

PF, HUDCO, Taj corridor,
Navy war room spy scam, Trouble with Mr Telgi.

We didn’t start the scamfire,
It was always burning,
Since the world’s been turning,
We didn’t start the scamfire,
No we didn’t light it,
And we didn’t fight it…

Gegong Apang and PDS, Bihar flood relief scam,
Oil for food, Uttar Pradesh ayurveda and IPO.

Kerala ice cream parlour sex and Scorpene Deal,
White money homicide, Children of corrupt politicians.

Punjab city centre project scam, all sorts of mafia,
Haryana Teachers’ recruitment scam, Clean projects are a no-go.

Satyam not so true, State Bank of Saurashtra is in it too,
Jharkhand medical equipment scam, Cash for votes in Parliament also.

We didn’t start the scamfire,
It was always burning,
Since the world’s been turning,
We didn’t start the scamfire,
No we didn’t light it,
And we didn’t fight it…

Army ration pilferage, Ultra corrupt in the corrupt land,
Hasan Ali, Gujarat sugarcane, Emmar, Total scam invasion.

Coal, Tarta, CWG, LIC, Belikeri, Scam media mania,
ISRO S-Band, KG Basin oil, Goa SEZ, UP MGNREGA.

Adarsh, NHRM, IPL, Madhu Koda, ND Tiwari sex,
2G Rs 1.76 lakh crore, what else do I have to say?

We didn’t start the scamfire,
It was always burning,
Since the world’s been turning,
We didn’t start the scamfire,
No we didn’t light it,
And we didn’t fight it…

No control, Punjab paddy, Anna Hazare back again,
Flying club frauds, many scams in J&K too what rot.

Highway and HP pulse scams, Trouble on the airline,
Gujarat PSU irregularities, Sukhna, All’s sinking in scamistan.

Andhra also has a land scam, might as well commit suicide,
Karnataka Wakf Board Land, Maharashtra stamp duty.

President Patil land grab, Mines are under jungle law,
Congress and BJP wars, I can’t take it anymore.

We didn’t start the scamfire,
It was always burning since the world’s been turning,
We didn’t start the scamfire,
But when we are gone,
It will still burn on, and on, and on, and on…

We didn’t start the scamfire,
It was always burning,
Since the world’s been turning,
We didn’t start the scamfire,
No we didn’t light it,
And we didn’t fight it…
We didn’t start the scamfire…

(Original Song: We didn’t start the fire.
Singer: Billy Joel.
Year: 1989.)

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru

Yesterday: Tata.
Today: Tatra.

Yesterday: Generation Gap.
Today: 2Generation money gap.

Yesterday: Debonair in the Home.
Today: Porn in the House.

Yesterday: Mera Bharat Mahaan.
Today: Mera Scam Sabse Mahaan.

Yesterday: Saare jahan se accha Hindustan hamara.
Today: Saare jahan se bada Scamistan hamara.

Yesterday: Army adarsh hain.
Today: Army Adarsh hain.

Yesterday: Koi chaara nahin.
Today: Koi chaara ghotala ka pata nahin.

Yesterday: Desh safed paise ke hawale.
Today: Desh: Kala paisa aur Hawala.

Yesterday: Mujhe bada ho kar Test cricketer ban na hai.
Today: Mujhe bada ho kar IPL main paisa banana hai.

Yesterday: Sukhi raho, bhale hi dhan na kamao.
Today: Sukh Ram ki tarah dhan kamao.

Yesterday: Votes are priceless.
Today: Every vote has a price.

© Sunil Rajguru

P Chidambaram: Minister of making sure 2G doesn’t come Home.

Pranab Mukherjee: Inflation Minister.

Sharad Pawar: Minister for containing all Food and PDS scams.

Kapil Sibal: Minister of zeroing the Rs 1.76 lakh crore 2G figure and Chief Censor against Dynasty Critics.

AK Antony: Minister of containment of Tatragate and ascertaining the chief’s date of birth.

Ajit Singh: Minister of prevention of the Civil Aviation industry from crashing.

Shriprakash Jaiswal: Minister to make sure Coalgate numbers stay at zero.

SM Krishna: Minister of Foreign controversies.

Ambika Soni: Minister of Misinformation and Broadcasting rubbish.

Salman Khurshid: Minister of how to twist the Law to suit the Centre. Additional charge to make sure the Wakf scam doesn’t blow up.

Jaipal Reddy: Junior Inflation Minister. (Petrol)

Mukul Roy: Minister of containment of the Train of trouble unleashed by the Trinamool.

© Sunil Rajguru

Sadanand Gowda: Delhi chalo!

Nitin Gadkari: Tum mujhe numbers do main tumhe BSY se azaadi doonga.

(BSWhy?)

© Sunil Rajguru

Please sing to the tune of Ram Ka Naam Badnam Na Karo from the film Hare Rama Hare Krishna…

Dekho O deewano tum ye kaam na karo,
Gandhi Pariwar ka naam badnaam na karo,
Jai Sonia ji aur Jai Rahul ji.

Sonia ne hanskar sab sukh tyaage,
Tum sab dukh se dar ke bhage,
Rahul ne karm ki reet sikhayee,
Tum ne farz se aankh churayee,
O Gandhi duhaayee,
Gandhi Pariwar ka naam badnaam na karo,
Jai Sonia ji aur Jai Rahul ji.

(Original Song: Ram Ka Naam Badnam Na Karo.
Film: Hare Rama Hare Krishna.
Year: 1971.)

This Spoof By Sunil Rajguru

∙ Congress ka TDS kat gaya: Will take support of unreliable Trinamool, scamster DMK or even goonda SP to stay in power at any cost.

∙ Earlier, everyone was worried about the health of Anna Hazare, but not the nation’s health.
Nowadays, nobody is even worried about Anna’s health.

∙ Kyun re mera electorate Rushdie Rushdie karta hai?
The Political Verses trumps the Satanic Verses any day.

∙ They said the Euro would be usher in Utopia.
But it has just remained a dreamy Utopian Union.

© Sunil Rajguru

Actual problem…
Why are you voting for the party and not the candidate?

© Sunil Rajguru

But Rahul will get at least 10 more chances to become PM.

(Read: Lok Sabha Polls)

P.S. Priyanka aur Robert ka number bhi aayega! Abhi haso, baad main jhelo.

P.P.S. 2012 main Pappu fail ho gaya, par agle baar zaroor pass hoga! (Nahin to uske agle baar, nahin to uske bhi agle baar… till 2050)

© Sunil Rajguru