Number of People killed by Ghosts every year: Practically Zero
Number of People scared by Ghosts every year: Millions

Maximum number of People killed by Sharks in a single modern year: 11
Number of Sharks killed by People in the modern world: Billions

Number of People who theoretically can be Vegetarians if they want to: All 7 Billion
Number of People who would rather be Non-vegetarians and kill Trillions of living beings: Billions

Number of People who are “believed” to have seen God: Dozens
Number of People who actually believe in the existence of God: Billions
Number of People killed directly or indirectly in the name of God in History: Billions

Number of People killed by People in the history of man“kind”: Tens of Billions

Key takeaways…
…ghosts are real… sharks are monsters… God exists and is our benevolent protector… man is a civilized, sophisticated and highly evolved intelligent being that is the most superior life form on this planet and maybe even in the universe…

© Sunil Rajguru

Money can’t buy you love, but it sure can buy you sex.

Money can’t buy you happiness, but it sure can get you temporary gratification.

Money can’t buy you God, but it sure can influence religious leaders.

Money can’t buy you a happy marriage, but it sure can settle a messy divorce.

Money can’t buy you respect, but it sure can buy you fear.

Money can’t buy you a happy family, but it sure can shut them up.

Money can’t buy the world, but it sure can help you see most of it.

P.S. Who has seen true love and happiness anyway?

And who has really met God?

…and that brings us straight back to Money…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Tired of “Good Joke” and “Poor Joke” being just about the only ways to classify jokes, The Indian Institute of Social Welfare for Jokes has decided to introduce a brand new classification scheme.

When you listen to a joke, weigh in your mind how good or bad it is and classify accordingly…

FBCJ: Forbes Billionaire Class Joke.

RJ: Rich Joke.

MCJ: Middle Class Joke.

PJ: Poor Joke.

RPJ: Really Poor Joke.

BPLJ: Below Poverty Line Joke.

DCJ: Destitute Class Joke.

And finally, the absolute worst of all jokes…

BR32PDJ: Below Rs 32 Per Day Joke.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

∙ Sometimes I think mankind is a suicide bomber bent on blowing up the Earth.

∙ In the good ole days, most people’s lives used to go nowhere slowly.
Nowadays, most people’s lives go nowhere pretty fast.
That’s progress I guess.

∙ With so little time and so little rest nowadays, the phrase should changed to…
“I need 20 winks of sleep!

∙ Contemporary word meanings…
Baroque: Highly ornate and extravagant in style.
Barack: Highly ornate and extravagant in style of speech.

∙ An Indian rubbed a genie and was granted one wish. Being a true patriot, he asked for all the corrupt people in India to simply vanish.
Suddenly there was absolutely no-one to rule the nation and India quickly slipped into anarchy and became the world’s most failed nation.

© Sunil Rajguru

• By the time we die, I’m sure we’ll be able to sum up our life story in 140 characters.

• A definition of Globalization:
If there was no corruption in India, then the Swiss Banking System would collapse.

• A thought for today:
Never judge a Friend by his Status Messages.

• Remember: In India, a politician’s RTC beats our RTI.
(RTC=Right to Corruption)

• Right now there are many scams going around in your neighbourhood, city, state and country. Since most of them are undetected and invisible, you sleep well.

© Sunil Rajguru

• You know that New Year Resolutions are just another form of GIGO, called RIRO…
GIGO=Garbage In Garbage Out.
RIRO=Resolution In Resolution Out.

• Does the collective optimism of a few billion people on the eve of December 31 actually help kick-start a new year better?

• The only reason there is more hope and optimism with every successive December 31 is because the firecrackers are getting better and more in number.

• The media is managing to dig up more and more depressing news with every successive year. That helps with the optimism part on December 31 night at least!

• If it’s a really good resolution, then you don’t have to wait till the New Year.
And if you’ve put off the resolution for the New Year, then the Resolution may well continue to be put off way after that.

Random Thoughts on the Last New Year

© Sunil Rajguru