• You should get away from all Real and Virtual Humans from time to time to maintain your sanity.

• Cricket is a matter of life and death in India. So it’s really surprising how many times we fans have totally died and still continue to live peacefully and with hope.

• Elsewhere in the world, sport is religion. For Indian politicians, religion is a mere sport. Elsewhere in the world, work is religion. For Indian politicians, religion is work and a great and lucrative means of livelihood.

• It’s not the politician’s fault. His consumers are foolish voters and he is merely servicing them.

• It’s surprising how when faced with “Quit or Tweet” how many choose both.

© Sunil Rajguru

• Privatization: The conversion of public assets to private ownership. Sometimes leads to controversy.
Publicization: The conversion of an Indian politician’s private thoughts and words to the public domain via media like Twitter, TV channels and spy cams. It is a hot trend in India and always leads to controversy.

• People talk of total Internet penetration and total computer penetration. Ha! The light bulb was invented about 200 years ago and we don’t even have total light bulb penetration in India, thanks to lack of electrification.

• The man who said impossible is a word in a fool’s dictionary could not even conquer the small island next door.

• What happened to all the Scorpios of the world when Pluto was downgraded of its planetary status? (Pluto is the modern ruler of Scorpio)

• God has made someone for everyone. But if he by mistake repeats the process once or more, is that the reason for divorce?

• If a Murderer gets a Life Sentence, then does a Husband get a Wife Sentence?

© Sunil Rajguru

How many controversies nowadays start with:
In the beginning was the Tweet.

To put the old joke in reverse, who would have thought that with Twitter, you could have a constipation of words along with a diarrhoea of ideas.

I think the good ole Barney Song can be suitably modified to suit Facebook:
I Like you,
You Like me,
We’re all friends like friends should be,
With a great big Comment,
And a Poke from me to you,
Won’t you say you Like me too?

This Version By Sunil Rajguru

• Passing rains during peak summer are just a momentary lapse of season.

• I always believe that Prayer is the only thing that can do time travel. If you Pray hard enough, it can travel to the past and set things right. And you think the Miracle instantly appeared when it actually was a result of a series of events of a changed past. The Prayer can travel to the future and stop bad things there too.

• I think God is also a bureaucrat. He puts all our curses, bad wishes and jinxes for our fellow human beings in an in folder which he doesn’t check till Eternity. If he acted on all of them, then we’d all surely be dead by now!

• Celebrity comes from the word celebration. It should have come from the word destruction instead. We love to destroy our celebrities. They should be called delebrities instead.

• As microprocessors go faster, RAMs ramp up and software gets smarter, why does the computer experience feel just as slow?

© Sunil Rajguru

• Indian whitening creams are getting so effective that Dark Skin will be turned to Light. Light Skin will be turned to Pure White. And Pure White Skin? That’ll become Transparent… so that you may apply whichever colour you may to suit your day every day.

• News in India is broken so many times on so many channels every day that it’s a wonder it’s not in a trillion unbreakable pieces and dead by now.

• The stuff on Indian TV news channels is so trivial that we should coin a new term called TVial. TVia. TVial coverage. TVial pursuit…

• In India, people with noisy fans sleep well as they drown out all the other surrounding disturbing sounds.

• If a man is one in a million, then will he have a problem if he undergoes an operation where the chances of going wrong are one in a million?

© Sunil Rajguru

• Do you know that there is only 28.57% reservation for Holidays in the week? Poor Holidays are under-reserved and neglected. I demand 50% reservation for them!

• If Plastic was banned, then the population of the Planet would drastically go up. There would be more pollution and lesser resources. So Plastic is actually an environmentally friendly product.

• If Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, then why do both live on the same planet called Earth?

© Sunil Rajguru

• Sometimes I think that women are superior to men in every way. That is why God gave men a head start in this world by making them generally much physically stronger and taller to even things out.

• If only March 8 is Women’s Day, then does that mean that the remaining 364 days are Men’s Days?

• You know you’re not very popular when you get more phone calls from telecallers than those from actual friends and more spam message than actual emails.

• I like to travel the world through the universes of the TV and computer screens. The real world is too tedious.

• My reading habit is really down nowadays. It’s the electricity board’s fault. There are hardly any power cuts off late.

© Sunil Rajguru