My morning paper comes late.
So I don’t read today’s paper and save it for tomorrow early morning.
I’ve been doing it for months now and haven’t noticed any difference…

∙ It is said that the Yomiuri Shimbun of Japan has a circulation of 14 million, the highest in the world.
But doesn’t the Facebook News Feed have a readership of 800 million?

∙ The future of the newspaper will depend on the time spent by mankind to conclude it’s bowel movement early in the morning.

∙ Isn’t it time to change the name of Newspaper to Oldpaper?

∙ If a newspaper ever runs a campaign to increase Internet literacy, it is in effect running a campaign to kill itself in the long run.

∙ The Obituary of the Newspaper will one day come on the Internet.

© Sunil Rajguru

America-Pakistan: It’s Complicated.
(Where US=Husband)

India-Pakistan: Divorced in 1947, still awaiting final settlement.

America-China: It’s Complicated.
(Where US=Wife)

Russia-America: It’s so funny how we don’t talk any more.

Brazil-Argentina: Relationship? Depends whether it’s on the football field or off it!

Afghanistan-Pakistan: Separated at birth, hyphenated in the 2000s.
(Af-Pak)

India-China: Married. (To the concept of being the next Superpower)

Israel-Palestine: Separated at birth, united in conflict.

South Korea-North Korea: Brothers. (In Arms)

England-France: Neighbours. (Thank God for the Channel!)

China-Taiwan-Tibet: What relationship? We are One. (Or so says every schizophrenic)

© Sunil Rajguru

The year’s at the winter,
And day’s even at night;
Morning’s a crazy blur at seven;
The hill-side’s heavily polluted;
The children are at their video consoles,
The father is with his Blackberry,
The mother is in cyberspace,
And all’s right with the world…

With due apologies to Pippa Passes

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have many Facebook profiles to peep,
And so many emails all in a heap,
Science has taken such a gigantic leap,
For its rewards I have to stay up 24X7 to reap,
I also have so many silly little promises to keep,
(Sleep? My alarm clock keeps going beep beep,
And then I just feel like going weep weep…)
And I have miles of virtual words to key in before I sleep…
And miles to go (in circles I think) before I sleep.

With due apologies to Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru

ADHDbook

Boastbook

Commentbook

Dataminebook

Egobook

Friendbook

Gargantuanbook

Hollowbook

iBook

Jokebook

Kaleidoscopicbook

Likebook

Mentalbook

Nonprivacybook

Openbook

Plagiarizingbook

Quackbook

Rantbook

Stalkbook

Timewastebook

Unconstrainedbook

Voyeurbook

Wackobook

Xenocraticbook

Yourbook

Zeitgeistbook

This version by Sunil Rajguru

∙ Yesterday: Friend, Philosopher and Guide.
Today: Friend, Subscriber and Liker.

∙ Yesterday: You’ve got mail.
Today: You’ve got notifications.

∙ Yesterday: Stop bugging me.
Today: Stop poking me.

∙ Yesterday: Main aur meri tanhai…
Today: Main aur mera status message…

∙ Yesterday: If you have 5 true friends, it’s enough.
Today: If you have 500 Facebook friends (true or false, who cares), it’s enough.

∙ Yesterday: The more books you read, the more your brain will develop.
Today: The more friends you have on Facebook, the bigger your brain size.

This version by Sunil Rajguru

Dear Facebook,

What the hell do you mean by the feature called Poke?

When someone pokes me, what does that mean? For what joy has it been done?

You very happily inform me that “X has poked you. Poke back.”

Why?

And if I’m poking someone, where am I poking him?

In the eye? In the stomach?

With my finger? With a stick?

“Poke fun at” means to ridicule someone.

“Poke one’s nose into” means to meddle in someone’s affairs…

(That’s what most of us do on Facebook anyway, so is that the real meaning?)

I searched the web and found a quote by your creator Mark Zuckerburg: When we created the poke, we thought it would be cool to have a feature without any specific purpose.

How pokinine!

(My new word for asinine)

Ending this letter with a Superpoke,

Regards,

Sunil Rajguru