∙ Ricky Taunting India. Michael Clarke Kent (a.k.a Superman). Rahul “The Gate” Dravid. 99dulkar. Vir”Under” Sehwag. Dhakkan Fletcher. Kris SriCan’t. B (Don’t) See (Don’t) See I.

∙ The BCCI logic: Rohit Sharma is such a waste player! Forget scoring runs, he couldn’t even play a Test match! Drop him next time!

∙ After the 0-4 debacle in England the only person to be sacked was Harsha Bhogle from the anchor’s chair.
Who will they sack after 0-4 in Australia?

∙ Law of diminishing returns…
Test No. 1 ranking: Gone in 600 days.
Indian innings: Gone in 60 overs.
Opening partnership: Gone in 60 balls.
Indian Batsman: Gone in 60 seconds.

∙ Overheard…
Speaker: Can you deny the genocide the English committed on us?
Listener: No!
Speaker: Can you deny the genocide the Australians committed on us?
Listener: Eh??? Aussies in our freedom struggle?
Second Listener: He’s actually talking about cricket…

∙ If Cricket is our Religion, then the Australian tour is Blasphemy.

© Sunil Rajguru

The Visit of Solomon Rushdie,
Born on Monday,
Announced on Tuesday,
Married to the mob on Wednesday,
Took ill on Thursday,
Grew worse on Friday,
Died on Saturday,
Buried on Sunday.
That was the end,
Of the Visit of Solomon Rushdie…

(Original: Solomon Grundy.)

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru

Reference: Jaipur Literature Festival.

Daft definitions…
Rushdie: A writer who wrote something in England in 1988 that enraged someone in Iran that ultimatey left a few Rajasthanis wondering what the hell was going on in 2012, when people kept pointing them towards Uttar Pradesh.

Inky Pinky City,
JLF had a Virtual Rushdie,
Virtual Rushdie died,
Logic cried,
Inky Pinky City.

∙ In India, controversies age beautifully like wine…
Examples…
1. A 61-year-old age certificate.
2. A 44-year-old parliamentary bill.
3. A 24-year-old book.

Gandhi, Rushdie aur Anonymity…
1980: Rushdie who?
1981. Indira Gandhi: Rushdie!
1988. Rajiv Gandhi: Rushdie!
1996-2011: Rushdie who?
2012. Sonia Gandhi: Rushdie!

Global message of the week…
Jay, Jeremy and JLF… Shut up!

∙ The Congress has just Censored Salman Rushdie from India.
Don’t celebrate. You’re next!

© Sunil Rajguru

A new psychologist has joined the Indian cricket team, who has given a new theme song to the players to get them out of the current mess they are in…

Please sing to the tune of Hum honge kamyab…

Hum draw karenge Test match,
Hum draw karenge Test match,
Hum draw karenge Test match ek din,
Ho ho ho mann main hai Vishwas,
Poora hai vishwas,
Hum draw karenge Test match ek din.

Chalega match paancho din,
Chalega match paancho din,
Chalega match paancho din ek din,
Ho ho ho mann main hai vishwas,
Poora hai vishwas,
Chalega match paancho din ek din.

Hamare wickets nahin girenge saath saath,
Hamare wickets nahin girenge saath saath,
Hamare wickets nahin girenge saath saath ek din,
Ho ho ho mann main hai vishwas,
Poora hai vishwas,
Hamare wicket nahin girenge saath saath.

Nahi darr kisi foreign pitch ka,
Nahi bhay kisi pace bowler ka
Nahi darr na bhay ek din,
Ho ho ho mann main hai vishwas,
Poora hai vishwas,
Nahi darr na bhay ek din.

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru

The common fan’s feelings on the Indian cricket team…

It was the best of teams,
it was the worst of teams,
it was the age of greatness,
it was the age of foolishness,
it was the epoch of belief in Team India,
it was the epoch of incredulity at its decline,
it was the season of World Cup Light,
it was the season of Overseas Test Darkness,
it was the spring of hope,
it was the winter of despair in the very same year,
we had everything before us,
we had nothing before us…

(With due apologies to the opening of A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens, 1859)

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru

∙ The Government is looking to 49% FDI in aviation. If foreign players come, invest and change the names of Indian airline companies…
The Virgin Atlantic Airways probabilities…
Go Airways could become GoVirgin.
Jet Airways could become Virgin Lite.
Kingfisher could become VirginKing.
IndiGo could become IndiVirgin.
If South West Airlines came, then they could revive East West Airlines and call it:
South West East West Airlines.
If China Southern Airlines and China Eastern Airlines also jumped into the fray, then the new entity could be:
China Southern Eastern South West East West Airlines.

∙ BSY: The B in Karnataka BJP stands for BSY!
BJP: The B in BSY stands for BJP!
Bottom line: Soon, it’ll be BSY=BJP Splitter Yedyurappa.

∙ Arrogance of power.
Congress advisor: Here’s the 2009-14 Five-year plan, at the end of which Internet Censorship, bills to suppress federalism, how to dilute RTI, how to stall anti-corruption election reform plans for good etc etc will firmly be in place and we’ll be invincible!
Q: But what if someone else comes to power then?
A: Oops! I never thought of that! Is that even possible?

© Sunil Rajguru