The Merchant of 2G: A Raja

Discovery of Corruption in India: Subramanian Swamy

Decline And Fall of the Congress Empire: Anna Hazare

Death of a Prime Minister: An autobiography by Manmohan Singh

Invisible Man: A biography of Manmohan Singh by LK Advani

Such a Long Journey, A Story of all my Rath Yatras: LK Advani

I Follow the Anna: Kiran Bedi

Blind Men of Hindoostan in The Corruption War: Arvind Kejriwal

The Book of Revelations, India Chapter: Julian Assange

A Suitable Boy (For the PM’s Post): Diggy Raja

Diggy Raja in RSSland: Where our hero plays the Mad Hatter, the grinning Cheshire Cat and the Mocking Turtle all in one for the Queen of Hearts of the Congress Party

All’s Well That Ends Well, A Prediction for 2014: Kapil Sibal

All the Queen’s Spokesmen: Manish Tiwari

Character Assassination of a PM: Pranab Mukherjee

A Statue for Ms Mayawati: Satish Misra

Only Full Stops in India: Prashant Bhushan

Anna Hazare Ha, Ha, Ha: Mani Shankar Aiyar

Lokpal-The Gathering Storm: Anna Hazare

The Prisoners of Tihar: Amar Singh

Passage to England: MS Dhoni

Passage to India: Alastair Cook

The Lokpal Odyssey Series…

1963: Odyssey One, 1968: Odyssey Two, 1971: Odyssey Three, 1985: Odyssey Four, 1989: Odyssey Five, 2011: Odyssey Six…

Coming Soon: Lokapl, the Final Odyssey: Abhishek Manu Singhvi

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The BCCI has just completed its enquiry into the washout of the Indian team in England. Here are the results…

1st Test: Players just reached England. They had difficulty in adjusting to the conditions, pitches and climate.
Observations: Organize many more tours per year, so players will get over their “first match blues”.

2nd Test: India hadn’t choked for absolutely no rhyme and reason in a Test in ages. Law of averages finally caught up with them.
Observations: There’s nothing we can do about that.

3rd Test: Race riots happened in England at the time of the Test. The poor players were very scared. Smoke could be seen behind the stadium during the toss.
Observations: We couldn’t cancel the match as we needed the money and got it. No complaints there.

4th Test: Last match in the series. Players extremely tired and demoralized.
Observations: Organize 3-Test series in the future. As it is ODIs make more money. One lost Test = 3 more ODIs.

T20 International: Players played a whopping three practice matches the previous week, therefore they were extremely tired.
Observations: Stop listening to experts and stop organizing so many practice matches. As it is they don’t make much money.

Complete ODI Series: Rain, weather, damp pitches, Mr Duckworth and Mr Lewis dominated and there’s nothing anyone can do about that. This series can be totally forgotten, especially as we didn’t lose much money.
We were also told that captain MS Dhoni was fatigued and tired and should be rested, then how did he emerge as the leading run scorer and man of the series? The BCCI should stop listening to so-called experts.

Final Observations: Arre bhaiyya aal izz well!

Note: The ECB is seeking the BCCI’s expertise to explain its 0-3 ODI thrashing and making a similar report.

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru

There was this team from India,
That lost badly to Britannia,
Not once but again,
and again and again,
Par apne gali main goro ko dikha diya!

There was this domino in Tunisia,
That fell and rocked Arabia,
The dominoes did fall and fall,
And fall and fall and fall,
Till they reached Wall Street in America!

There was this thing called Corruption,
Which was attacked by this thing called anshan,
The government did shake,
And managed the fast to break,
But now Team Anshan’s mired in dissent and corruption!

There was this exotic “Indo-Pak talk”,
That was opposed by many a hawk,
The moment it raised its head,
A blast would turn everything red,
And peace would be forced to take a walk.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

A Raja___ c. CBI b. CAG.

Suresh Kalmadi___ c. CBI b. Shunglu.

Kanimozhi___ Hit Wicket b. CBI.

Shashi Tharoor___ Seriously injured in practice match.

KC Rao___ Retired Hurt (on moral grounds).

Prakash Karat___ Injured as a result of nuclear radiation.

Mamata Banerji___ Retired Hurt (of feelings).

Sharad Pawar___ Promoted to international league.

Chidambaram___ b. S Swamy, Third Umpire appeal pending.

Digvijay Singh*___ Batting non-stop with a flourish of fours and sixes…

Manmohan Singh* (C)___ Severely bruised and battered, but still batting bravely.

Expert Commentary: Manish Tiwari, Ambika Soni & Renuka Chaudhary.

Non-playing captain: Rahul Gandhi.

Coach: Pranab Mukherjee.

Chairman of Selectors: Sonia Gandhi.

Opposition: Team Anna, Media, CAG, Courts & Common Man.

(Other political parties unable to put together a fighting fit Team XI.)

© Sunil Rajguru

Main azaad nahin hu!

Anna Hazare se mujhe bachao!

Nuclear policy ki waat lag gayi!

Mukherjeeda, main tujhe pradhan mantra nahin ban-ne doonga!

Oil prices, inflation, high taxation ka magic wand kahan hai!

Hisar chhootha, ab hisaab hi chhuthha ho jaayega!

Andimuthu Raja ye tune kya kiya!

Notes se votes nahin milte hain, cash-for-votes file bandh karo!

Swiss Bank list ki talwar abhi bhi sar par latak rahi hai!

Information ka Right ko bahaar pheko!

NREGA aur kitna paisa lega? Tijori hi khaali ho rahi ha!

G se bahut dar lagta hai… 2G, CWG, CAG, Soniaji, Rahulji…

Hum phir bhi chup rahenge… hahaha… tum sab chillaate raho!

This version by Sunil Rajguru

Technology…
The Book of Jobs.
Blackoutberry.
Google-.

National…
Roamfree.
Infoprez.
Rath Race.
Loktaal.
Plants Nuked.
Mine’s all Mine.

International…
Iran=Ikill.
On its Haqqaknees.

Sports…
Still on its Dhoknees?
Crum-ble.

This version by Sunil Rajguru

Journalist: Wanted someone who can fabricate stories and make mountains out of molehills and vice versa without a conscience.

PR: Do you have a bit of Niira Radia within you?

Banker: If you can ensure your salary and bonus for just one year and have great short-term financial goals (the overall economy and Sensex be damned) then please apply.

Banking Consultant: If you are a small-time goonda, here’s your chance to become a respectable recovery agent.

Lawyer: Just head to any political party after your law degree. Most of them end up there anyway.

Commercial Pilot: Just make sure you have enough money to buy a fake degree.

Sales Job: But can you lie 24X7 and be confident about it?

Accountant: Knowing all the rules and being good with numbers is not enough. Apply if you can manipulate rules at will and make numbers dance in any way you want.

Real Estate: Do you have it within you to handle the land mafia to make it big?

Army: Adarsh hai to wahan pe apply karo…

Politician: If you have all the above mentioned skills, then we already welcome you to the wonderful world of Indian politics.

© Sunil Rajguru